The term "coming out" (of the closet) refers to the life-long process of the development of a positive gay, lesbian, bisexual, or transgender identity. It is a very long and difficult struggle for many people because they often have to confront many homophobic attitudes and discriminatory practices along the way. Many individuals first need to struggle with their own negative stereotypes and feelings of homophobia which they learned when they were growing up.

Before these people can feel good about who they are, they will need to challenge their own attitudes and take them from the lower end of that homophobic continuum (repulsion, pity, tolerance) to feelings of appreciation and admiration. But it often takes years of painful work to develop a positive gay or gender identity. Then, many individuals begin to make decisions about whom to tell that they are gay, lesbian, bisexual, or transgender. Many of these people are afraid to "come out" to their friends and family. 
 

What might gays, lesbians, bisexuals, or transgender individuals be afraid of? 
 

How might gays, lesbians, bisexuals, or transgender individuals feel about their coming out to someone? 
 

How might someone feel after a gay, lesbian, bisexual, or transgender person comes out to them?  
 

Why might gays, lesbians, bisexuals or transgender individuals want to come out to friends/relatives? 
 

Developed by Vernon Wall and Jamie Washington, 1989